As November has begun and the darkness and cold is creeping in here in Europe, it can be a great moment to start preparing the house for the winter. Not only the outer house but the inner house too. Especially the relational field we share between us and with important friends and family around us. Winter is one of the times when we need relationships the most. When it is cold and dark outside and we are more indoors and relating is closer than ever. It can be a great time for deepening and nourishing together, as well as facing the challenges which relationships can bring.
So we would like to share with you 4 keys which we are exploring in this moment in our own relationship and also sharing in our courses. We find these as great reminders and tools which make a lot of difference. We hope these keys can be resources for you to move into winter with joy and a loving open heart.
For those of you who would like to explore with us in November we will offer:
– An Online class on Freedom Vs Intimacy – The game of Love & War on November 20th.
–A Day Workshop for Leaders –Designed for those who wish to immerse into self-inquiry, presence and meditation on November 23rd.
–Sexual Intelligence Workshop -Awakening spontaneity & sensuality – A course for individuals & couples both on November 29th – December 2nd.
Now on to the keys!
Key # 1: Self-Awareness – Self- Responsibility
The first step in creating intimacy of any kind is the capacity to train in self-awareness and self-responsibility. To be able to identify what is happening within ourselves in each moment. To practice self-awareness is to enhance our capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.In that we are lead into self-responsibility, which enables us to drop the blame game and regain our power to change things that we want and need. So this first key is essential…gives us the information we need to attune to ourselves and therefore to the relational field.
Key # 2: Space to learn
The second key is the ability and willingness to learn. The openness and curiosity to learn from life and love. It’s very important to remember that all relationships are designed to reflect where we are in our emotional maturity and immaturity. For example, to inquire into oneself after having identified any kind of reaction…let’s say, “what is it in me which is reacting or is triggered’? That often takes us directly into a lesson that needs to be learned or understood. Only when we can be open and have the space to learn about ourselves a great shift can happen.
Key # 3: Being Real – Being Authentic
The third key is about daring to be honest. Which many times can be quite vulnerable…what if the other doesn’t like what they would see or hear from me? How to face the differences between each other and yet keep our own authenticity?
Being authentic is a master key of creating a solid foundation of love, because every human being is ultimately attracted to truth. Truth creates safety and safety creates trust. To share honestly what we feel, what are our needs and our values as a woman and as a man, opens the doorway to intimacy.
Key #4: Being Seen
Being seen is maybe one of our biggest longings we all share, as well as one of our biggest fears. Allowing yourself to be seen in your true feelings after having taken the first three steps from the keys above, opens space for real contact and a deeper intimacy. It is too often we hide ourselves from really being seen, not only seen in our difficulties but in our beauty too. To take the risk to be seen as we are, brings a great relaxation and presence within and to the relational field.
We encourage you to explore these keys and have your own experience. We are happy to hear from you about your experiences and insights on our Facebook page.
Talib & Shubhaa