I believe that honesty is the most humane value right now because we can say in summary that deceit is the great illusion that obscures our perception and prevents us from following the path of love. There are layers of lies, in the form of self-deceit and forgetfulness: forgetfulness of who we really are.
At the core of this lie is the idea of the victim, and around it are layers of illusion, which make us feel like a separate and isolated “I” and believe the idea of “I” and “mine”. This illusion is born from neediness and everything that is a result of this idea of a separate and isolated “I” who’s a victim of the world, since ingratitude is the main manifestation of this belief. That’s why gratitude is the best antidote. From ingratitude come pacts of vengeance and blame games, among legions of psychological “I’s” that develop and that we identify with every now and then.
And how is it that all of this deceit is installed in our system? Well, a child comes into the world needing exclusive love until he’s strong enough to stand on this own two feet, become mature, and develop an authentic self-sufficiency that manifests only when he’s able to share the gifts he brought to Earth, his gifts and talents. So when a child is born he starts experiencing the world through contact with his mother, especially through breastfeeding, when he’s in contact with goodness, mercy and infinite love. From this contact however, the child also encounters human misery, selfishness, hatred and ignorance, because no mother has only love to give through her milk.
Milk that carries evil, lovelessness and disrespect, along with events in the child’s history, start to awaken memories of past lives where the child, for some reason, suffered from lack and from the bitterness of not being loved, activating the chain of ignorance. So until a child can grow up, become an adult, and develop his intellect to the point where he can understand where his insecurity comes from, where his lack of faith comes from (because he is always attracting difficult situations) a lot of misery has already been recreated and the web of bad karma keeps expanding.
The fact is that somehow this chain must be interrupted. Regardless of how an individual was conceived, I have inspired everyone who is with me to look at children as atma, the divine spirit in development. The soul is wise, and often has much to teach us. It already comes with a well-defined purpose. It is born already bearing gifts, talents, and a vision for this world, and it needs to be supported and protected so that all of this will be revealed and shared.
At the same time, a child needs limits and care. Sometimes a child needs firm limits that come from a loving and altruistic heart that truly sees and respects this being and isn’t expressing the pain of its own wounded child.
To teach the values of honesty and self-responsibility to our children, we need to be transparent in our relationship with them, providing an example and having the courage to admit our own imperfections when they arise. The best that we can, we must avoid repeating the vicious circle that blames the child, which makes her feel inferior and that she’s done something wrong. This creates the idea of the victim, and activates ingratitude, vengeance, blame, and the entire vicious circle of sadomasochism. Teaching self-responsibility without falling into the blame game and without letting the child feel guilty is a great art.
In this way, it would be extremely helpful for the evolution of human consciousness on this planet if mothers and fathers could really prepare themselves for maternity and paternity before conceiving their children. It would be greatly beneficial if parents were aware of the significance of bringing a child into the world. It would be even more beneficial if they were mature enough to have something to give to their children. When I talk about giving, I’m referring especially to values like respect and trust, which are tools that can minimize shocks during the development of the ego and its vicious circle of immature love.
This is the work that I am doing with you, helping you look in the mirror and see your imperfections so that you can de-identify from them and bring your treasure to the world. But this process is difficult because we often start believing that we are the worst of all creatures, feeling guilty and then having to struggle against that guilt, until we can truly experience self-responsibility. It’s the same thing happens in relation to a child when you are teaching about limits and self-responsibility. With the subtlest carelessness, you end up activating guilt and opening up doors to this whole entanglement.
But anyway, i feel that values like honesty and self-responsibility are the main aspects that we need to teach our children. Teaching by example, so that the child can become honest and self-responsible, and from a young age be able to trust herself and life, freeing herself from the idea of the victim, and be able to be grateful for everything around her, and bring to the world the treasures that she came to share.
Your role in helping children follow the path of love is in preparing the field, so that from a young age they start thanking life, and then will be able to share their gifts.”
Sri Prem Baba